I have a few in the home office and a batch in the rec room. As far as my wife is concerned, that's embarassingly too many. But they're not one of my obsessions.
The figures I have, I picked up because I think they look cool--they're nice represenations of comic book characters I like. I have a batch of Marvel Legends figures, including the big honkin' build-yer-own Galactus. And they're nice. But they're a little too muscley for my tastes.
The figures I admire most are made by DC Direct. I have the Silver Age Batman and Superman series and I really like how faithfully they capture the 1960s incarnations of some of my favorite comics characters. They look good standing atop a couple book cases crammed with DC Archives, Showcase Presents, Marvel Masterworks and Essentials volumes.
When it comes to figures, DC Direct is usually top-notch. But when they manufacture the odd ugly action figure, they go to town.
Here are some examples:
Check out the freaky muscle ripples on "Hush" Superman's forearms. And that face!
And here is, perhaps, the most hideous rendition of the Dynamic Duo ever: The "Dark Victory" Batman and (the particularly nightmarish bighead) Robin.
And here are a couple of really bad Catwomen. The first "Long Halloween" Catwoman is just an ugly sculpt in terms of mask, costume and body while the preposterousness of the "Knightfall" Catwoman is right there jutting in your face.
Catwoman looked silly enough when Jim Balent drew her this way in the comics. But when you translate those images into three absurd dimensions, it gets even more ridiculous.
There are a number of hideous figures in the "Identity Crisis" line but Batman and Black Canary are especially bad.
What is wrong with her face?!!
I'm not a fan of his art, but Ed McGuiness' super-muscley, cartoony depictions of Batman and Superman never really bugged me on paper. They're over-the-top, but at least they have a style of their own.
But when you translate McGuiness' art into plastic, you get entire display racks of ugly. Hideous faces, ridiculous anatomy (look at those thighs!). It's hard to believe that DC Direct has made at least three series of McGuiness figures. And that people buy them. It was hard narrowing things down to just a few examples:
This "Return of Supergirl" figure, based on the art of Michael Turner, stands out as one of the sickliest, disturbing figures DC Direct has released (absurd waistline, creepy expression and eyes).
But, sometimes, you can take great art as a model and still turn out an incredibly--almost absurdly--ugly figure. Witness Superman and, especially, Wonder Woman based on Darwyn Cooke's "New Frontier" mini-series.
Most of the figures in this series look pretty decent (I especially like Green Arrow and Dr. Fate), but the faces on these two are horrendous. What was DC Direct thinking? Cooke's faces are stylized and cartoony in a fun retro way. But the too-squinty Superman and "I don't know what's wrong with her face" Wonder Woman just don't work in plastic:
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What are your picks for ugliest action figure? Let us know in the comments section. Or send me pics and I'll post them here.
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